Firehouse Kids: Unlikely Brothers
by SophiaTab
Summary: This is a little prequel to Firehouse Kids: Severide's Daughter that takes place in current time roughly eighteen years before the events of Severide's Daughter. It will explore a related Firehouse family and take readers up to the night Darden and K2 were conceived which is why it's rated M.
1. Chapter 1

_**Firehouse Kids: Unlikely Brothers**_

**Chapter 1**

Kelly Severide knew something was up by the way Otis walked across the station. That wasn't real confidence radiating out from the man's swagger. Artificial courage leaked from every pore. The guy had definitely pumped himself up for something. Kelly knew Otis had probably seen Katie while he was out on vacation. Hopefully he wasn't going to do something really dweebish like ask permission to send her emails. Otis stopped and gazed up directly into Kelly's eyes. His face was a total deadpan.

"Hit me," Otis said.

It had to be a stunt for the podcasts. "Not funny enough," Kelly said.

Otis tapped him on the shoulder. "I'm serious. Hit me. I want your best punch."

Kelly struggled not to smirk. "No you don't."

Otis tapped him again. That was beginning to be annoying. "Come on? Are you a wuss now? Hit me."

"You're crazy," Kelly responded. He tried to step away, but Otis got in his face.

"Your father is a drunk and a philanderer," Otis said.

Okay, that was edging close to the line, but Kelly could play the smartass game too because whatever joke this was he wasn't falling for it. "Tell me something I don't know."

Otis inhaled deep. "You're mother's a whore."

Those were fighting words, but he didn't raise his fist to Otis yet because this was the absolutely most insane thing Kelly had seen for a while. Was Otis having a brain aneurysm?

Then Otis shoved him in the chest. "You are a wuss that's afraid to admit he's in love with a lesbian."

Kelly wasn't sure how many times his fist slammed into Otis's face before Clark and Capp wrestled him to the floor. The world was red. Sirens exploded in his ears, but he could tell by the reactions of the people around him no alarm was going off.

"What the hell?" Capp exclaimed.

Kelly realized he was shaking. Breathing pulled iron from his lungs and his heart pounded. He heard Otis in the distance.

"It's not like I am not manning up," Otis shouted, but Mouch and Cruz pulled him away.

"Are you all right? What happened?" Clark said.

There was no way in hell he was going to answer that question. Luckily Chief Boden appeared on the scene. "Severide, take a personal day." He didn't say anything else. Nobody mentioned Otis. The little punk started this, whatever this was. What was going on? Shay hustled him into the car, but took the driver's seat.

As Shay drove, a jackhammer went to work on Kelly's chest. He tried to make sense of what had happened. Otis wasn't stupid. He knew Kelly would beat him senseless in a real fight, so why had he started one. And Otis had known exactly what would push him over the edge. It made him wonder just how obvious his feelings were sometimes. Real fear mixed with the anger and confusion in his head. At least Shay hadn't overheard the words that provoked the fight. Nobody had, but it still terrified him. There were some secrets a man took to his grave because otherwise they ruined friendships and lives. No matter how much wanting Shay, but not having Shay hurt at times, it beat the alternative of Shay leaving him forever. At least, she wasn't asking in any questions about what Otis said. After a while he realized his cell phone was vibrating. The message box was stacked to the brim. He tried listening to a few of them, but they were all incoherent rants from Katie's mother, Mrs. Nolan. Apparently, either he or Bennie or possibly all firemen in the world were assholes now.

"Has everyone gone insane?" he asked Shay.

She shrugged. "Do you want some coffee? Let's get some coffee."

She didn't drive to a coffee shop. Instead they went to an apartment complex. It seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn't recognize it immediately.

"Where are we?" Kelly asked.

Shay reached over and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Outside Otis and Cruz's apartment building."

"I am not apologizing to the guy," Kelly said.

"No one expects you to," Shay said.

"Then why are we here?" he demanded.

"Katie needs someone to talk to other than her mother or Benny right now," Shay said.

"Katie's in Colorado," Kelly said. And even though missing his little sister was a knife wound to the gut that was the best place for her. It would be easier for her to rebuild her life and put the rape behind her in Colorado.

Shay kind of smiled, but at the same time kind of didn't. "She came back with Otis."

Katie, back in Chicago. How come nobody told him this? And what the hell was Otis doing in the middle of his and his little sister's lives. "You mean she came back at the same time Otis came back from vacation," Kelly said.

Another funny look from Shay. "That's for Katie and Otis to decide." Shay got out of the car, opened his door and guided him out of the car. She didn't usually get this close anymore. He could feel her arm burn into his back and she let their fingers intertwine. Right now her body was almost wrapped around him. He would follow her to Otis and Cruz's apartment to keep this closeness. He would follow her into hell for this. When they stopped at a door Shay's eyes became pools he could drown in. "I know you love, Katie. I know you only want what is best for her, but only she should decide what she wants to do with her life."

When Shay rang the bell, Peter Mill's mother answered the door. The day had more surprises. Still, Mrs. Mills was a nice woman. Her warm, maternal gaze fell on Kelly the way a woman's gaze rarely did. "I'm glad you're here, Lieutenant Severide, but you are not coming through this door unless you promise, no more fighting."

He nodded.

Mrs. Mills smiled like the Madonna. "Brian is very nice young man," she said letting them into the apartment.

Brian? Who the hell was Brian? Oh yeah, Brian was Otis's real name. Sometimes he forgot, especially on days like this, especially when Shay was this close. But it made sense that Cruz's mother might know him as Brian rather than a firehouse nickname. "Yeah, I guess.'' _If he hadn't tried to start a fight with me less than an hour ago. _He kept that comment to himself.

Mrs. Mills kept talking about Otis. "I believe him when he says he didn't know. You and Benny should cut him some slack."

Kelly could see Otis and Katie together on the couch. Otis had a couple of sutures on one eyebrow. The eye beneath was black. A couple of support bandages had been laid across his nose and his lower lip was busted. Katie held an ice pack against the side of his face. They looked cute together in a way most real world couples didn't, even if they appeared to be arguing.

"I still say in the church," Otis said.

"Not like I am," Katie replied.

"We'll say you broke your ankle. I'll borrow a wheelchair. You can sit in that and no one will notice a thing." Otis said.

_What the hell were they talking about?_

Katie noticed him first. She didn't get up from the couch to greet him however. Instead she pointed to chair beside the couch. "Hi, Kelly, please sit down, so we can talk."

"Why didn't you stay in Colorado? You got no bad memories in Colorado?" Kelly asked.

"I've got no good ones there either. I grew up in this city. It's my home. I'm not going to let one violent thug take that away from me." She gestured toward the chair again. "Kelly, would you please sit down. It would be so much easier to talk to you right now if you were sitting down."

"What's going on?" Kelly demanded.

Otis took Katie's hand. She looked up at Kelly and her gaze didn't waver. "I'm five months pregnant."

Pregnant! By that scumbag bastard rapist Keeler! Things like that weren't supposed to happen to good people like his little sister Katie who as far as Kelly could tell had never hurt a soul in her life. Dammit! There were supposed to be pills for this sort of thing. Katie was practically a child herself. Why the hell, hadn't Keeler gone after him? He knew the answer to that. Keeler was a coward and a thug. No wonder Katie's mom had been raging on the phone. It wasn't right for Katie to suffer like this. A tornado ripped through Kelly Severide. If he had stayed out of his little sister's life, Keeler wouldn't have known about her. She would be somewhere happily cooking her way into a wonderful life, instead of traumatized and pregnant before she even had a real chance in the world.

His legs started to fail, but he didn't reach for the chair. He went to the floor on his knees before the little sister whose life he had just about wrecked. "I'm sorry, Katie. I am so goddamn sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay." Katie said.

Even now she was comforting him! Mrs. Nolan was right. Severide men were bastards. It shouldn't be like this. He had to be the strong one now for his little sister and become the brother she needed. "How's your mother reacting?"

The sorrow welling in Katie's eyes was enough to cleave him in two. "She wanted me to have an abortion. Now she wants me to put it up for adoption. She says being a single mother is too hard for me and she's the expert that should know that."

Kelly stared at his sister's hand resting on her stomach. There was the beginning of a bump that was his future nephew or niece. Katie's childhood had been abandonment by Benny coupled with lack of attention by her mother, so it was easy to understand how she could grow attached to this baby no matter what the circumstances of conception had been. He could also imagine how much Ms. Nolan didn't want her illegitimate grandchild conceived in the rape of her illegitimate daughter intruding into the new life she had finally made for herself. As for Benny, well he could be counted to come through for the spectacular, like getting street justice on Keeler, but he wasn't all that reliable in the everyday world of bills and babysitting. Meanwhile Katie had a cooking school degree and maybe two-hundred dollars in her purse. But he had a job. No, he had a career, a good reliable, respectable career that made him an ideal role model for any future nephew or niece and gave him a schedule that offered plenty of opportunities for side jobs to make extra money. Katie and kid could live with him forever for all he cared. The only downside was how it might affect his relationship with Shay. Shay loved kids. He would still see her from time to time, but not as much. He would eat the pain because no matter what his nephew or niece was going to have a good life and a real family. He placed his hand over his sister's. "You can count on me, one-hundred percent."

Otis started talking. "This isn't meant as an excuse, but I didn't know about the baby until I went to Colorado. If you or Benny want to beat me up again, I'll understand."

Kelly's attention was momentarily diverted. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Otis was calm. There was no false bravery in his face. Instead, it was the real thing, not bravado and arrogance, but a calm steadiness. "Katie and I had sex the night of the blackout, in the fire station, and later on that morning back at the apartment. I'm the father of this baby."

"Brian," Katie began like she was about to object. The unspoken reality of the rape was smoke hanging in the air around them. It leaked into Kelly's head threatening to cut off the oxygen again.

Otis's gaze snapped sharp in Katie's direction, but it wasn't the death glares or venomous glances, Kelly had witnessed between too many couples, including his own parents. Instead it was a resolute firmness, a man standing up to be a rock Katie could cling to in a time of need. "You're my girlfriend and I love you. I'm the father of this baby."

Whoa, the crisis parameters had shifted, but in a good way. His barely out of adolescence little sister wasn't carrying the child of a rapist scumbag. She got pregnant with her boyfriend who was a brother fire fighter which meant he could support a family. For all his nerdiness, Otis was a responsible guy. He would probably be a great father. At least, vastly superior to the example Benny had set for him and Katie. Okay, Otis wasn't Rescue Squad, but he was one of the brave, one of Chicago's best. He took that beating earlier like a man. Christ! That had been absolutely brilliant of Otis to start a fight with him immediately after returning from Colorado with Katie. And this baby certainly wasn't the first fire fighter's kid that was conceived in a fire station during shift. Benny would probably brag about it instead of trying to say his first grandchild was very premature. The smoke was starting to clear from his head and he could see a future that wasn't bad. "You should get married soon."

Otis pounced on the idea. "That is exactly what I have been saying since we left Colorado. I wanted to detour through Las Vegas. They've got a model of the bridge of the SS. Enterprise available for weddings there."

"The Enterprise is _Star Trek_. You're a _Battlestar Galactica _fan." Katie said.

"I like them both, but there isn't a _Galactica_ bridge available like that," Otis explained.

That was a really cute exchange to overhear. It was the kind of thing Kelly could tell a future nephew or niece. He had forgotten how much Katie really got Otis and how many interests they had in common. They would make a really cute couple and maybe his little sister's life wouldn't be completely ruined by what had happened.

"We could rig something up at _Molly's_," Kelly suggested. "They've already got all those white lights dangling from the ceiling.

"This isn't the 1950s. I'm not going to be shunned for having it out of wedlock?" Katie said.

"That's not what this is about," Otis said.

"Oh, really, then what's this rush to the altar about?" Katie said.

"Health insurance," Otis replied. He took both Katie's hands his. "If we get married right now, you and the baby go on my health insurance next business day. That's full pre-natal, your choice of doctors, and a good hospital. It's a lot better than Medicaid."

Otis really was responsible. He hadn't even thought that far enough ahead to consider how they were going to pay Katie's medical bills. "The man's talking sense, Katie. You need health insurance."

Mrs. Mills appeared again with coffee, tea and a whole lot of healthy food which nobody could resist least of all Katie who was eating for two. The food tabled some of Katie's resistance for awhile because they were talking when, not if, she and Otis were getting married. He got it that Katie was embarrassed about saying vows with how her body looked now, but a lot of people got married in front of a judge with two witnesses. He would sell his soul to be in that position with Shay, but that was only a fantasy. Katie's wedding was going to happen and he would shake down Benny for whatever money they needed because his nephew of niece was going to have a father worth having.

When they got back into the car, Kelly turned to Shay. "Did you know about this?"

"Katie called me last night when they got back," Shay said.

"My sister called you first?" Kelly said.

"She needed someone else with a uterus to talk to. That's why Mrs. Mills came over. Reinforcements." Shay explained.

Mrs. Mills against Mrs. Nolan, that was almost overkill. Nothing meant more than family to that woman. He remembered how she stood up for Otis too. He would probably have to refer to Otis as Bryan from time to time when they were away from the firehouse. After all, he was going to be . . . . ? Family? Life was definitely on the edge of change. "Did I make the right decision?"

"It's not your decision to make, Kelly. This is between Katie and Otis." Shay said.

"But I know you have opinion," Kelly said.

Shay gazed at him with stone somber eyes. "I think Otis is the only one not referring to that baby as it."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Firehouse Kids: Unlikely Brothers**_

**Chapter 2**

They had the wedding at _Molly'_s. Otis talked Katie into wearing a traditional Russian wedding costume that had lots of bright embroidery and no waistline. She looked beautiful and radiant like a bride was supposed to look. Benny claimed some mysterious re-opened arson case required his presence in Springfield and sent a check for four thousand dollars. That pissed Kelly off until he noticed how often Chicago PD cars cruised by the night of the reception. The Nolans attended after a little groveling. Actually Mrs. Nolan seemed rather pleased with Otis's groveling. Before the night was over she had told everyone in hearing range that her new son Brian was nothing like Benny or Kelly. Katie's stepfather wasn't the jerk Kelly had been mentally picturing all these months either. He didn't try to act like the father of the bride. He didn't comment on the bride's actual father not being there. He gave Otis and Katie a 52-inch flat screen and spent the evening keeping the volleyball twins from jumping Peter Mills. It could have been worse Shay told him. Yeah, it could have been a lot worse. Then toward the end of the night Shay agreed to dance with him and suddenly it became one of the better nights of his life.

"Everything okay," Kelly said. She was so close he could feel every curve of his body. He was battling a lethal inferno and barely holding on.

Shay laid her head on his shoulder. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he asked.

She glanced toward Otis and Kelly. "Families, babies. I want to try again."

She meant try again to have a baby by artificial insemination with his sperm. It wasn't the way he wanted, but it was the closest he was ever going to get to having a family with Shay. He tried not to sound too hopeful. "Okay, we'll try again."

"It will take a few months to get the cash together," Shay said.

_There's always Plan B_. Of course, he knew damn well not to say that. "I could help."

Shay gazed up at him with that expression of absolute happiness he so rarely saw, but couldn't help, but be mesmerized by every time he saw it. Those moments she looked like some sort of higher being. Angel felt too clichéd a word to think. When Shay was happy she just looked too perfect to be a part of his world.

"You are the greatest best friend," she said.

Her lips touched his check and he felt it all the way to his toes. It was getting worse. He was going to have to hook up soon if he wanted to keep living so close to Shay. Except he didn't feel cavalier enough to try any of the women at the reception. At least, Shay didn't want to leave with anybody either. So they went home together and polished off a few Sam Adams on the coach."

"Have you thought about names?" he asked.

Shay gave him an innocent look. He smothered a chuckle and knocked his bottle against hers. "Women thinking about babies always have names picked out."

She smiled for real again. "Just one name. Darden. It think it works for either genders."

A lump formed in his throat. She wanted to name their baby after his dead friend. Of course, Shay had known Andy too, had joked with him at the firehouse, and had wiped her eyes multiple times at his funeral.

"Are you okay with that?" she asked.

"It's perfect," he whispered.

Apparently, Shay hadn't heard him because her expression changed. "Look, I can understand you might feel it's too soon, but Andy was my friend too."

"It's perfect!" he repeated loudly. "It's perfect. I can't think of a better name for the baby."

Shay moved closer. She kissed his cheek again. The flames were lapping at his groin, but he kept it under control.

"Now I've just got to get the cash together," Shay said.

"Like I said earlier, I'll help. I'll pick up extra shifts and some side work. We'll have you knocked up in no time." Kelly said.

Shay laughed. She took long swig from her bottle. Then gazed over at him mischievously. "I could always drink eight more of these and go with Plan B."

Laughter was safe. After all she had brought Plan B up. Of course, the other things going through his head weren't safe. They were about as dangerous as ideas came where it concerned him and Shay. Except maybe, no probably, he would never have the nerve to ask certain questions again.

"Have you ever been curious?" He prayed he hadn't sounded desperate.

"Curious about what?" Shay asked.

He tried to keep his gaze focused on her, but couldn't. "Sex with a man. Have you ever been curious about what straight people do?"

At least Shay didn't get angry. Obviously, she still thought they were just joking around and rolled her eyes. "Have you ever been curious about having sex with a man?"

Kelly took a deep breath and crossed his Rubicon. "Not in a long time."

The shock on Shay's face was like nothing he had expected. He had hoped to patch over any awkwardness discussing Plan B might have caused and bond a little more with Shay over that revelation, but it looked like he had completely freaked her out. "Forget I said that."

Shay shook her head. "Uh, uh, no way." She moved a lot closer. She was practically in his lap. Now that he really liked. He would be willing to reveal a lot of embarrassing details of his life to keep her this close. A grin lite up Shay's face. "You cannot just admit to me that the great Kelly Severide, pride of straight fire fighters, once craved the touch of another man, and leave it at that. I want all the details."

Those details were a part of his life that he had hidden in the farthest corner of his memories too ashamed of their substance. But somehow, right now, he didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it with Shay. They were just two best friends talking about their sex lives, talking the way woman sometimes talked, or so he had heard. Woman confided things to each other in a way guys never did. Above all else he knew he could trust Shay with his secrets. "You know, I used to wrestle in high school."

She nodded. Thank God, she didn't make any comments about how that sounded like the set-up for a gay porn movie, so he continued. "My mom let me lay out mats in the basement. Andy and I use to practice moves down there."

Shay interrupted him. "Andy? Andy Darden?"

"Yeah. We had been friends since way back. Almost every day we would practice wrestling, two, sweaty teenage boys full of hormones, alone, putting our hands all over each other. Andy started popping up in the dreams I would have at night, you know what I mean?" Kelly said.

"I know what you mean," she said.

All the teasing had left her eyes. Her soft serious look rendered him completely defenseless and powerless, but he managed to meet her gaze. "After a while the images popping up in my head, they weren't involuntary, you know what I mean?"

She nodded again. Years ago it had scared him when the face in his mind shifted from _Playboy_ centerfolds to Andy, but Shay seemed to understand. Her arm went across his shoulder. Her fingers were against his face, so soft, but they stirred up a fire in him even as he was confessing what would have ruined the moment with any other woman.

Kelly kept talking. "The thing was, Andy and I weren't just wrestling partners. He was a real friend, the way we're friends now. He saw me through hell after Benny checked out on me and my mom. I taught him how to fight when his mother's boyfriends turned into drunken jerks."

Suddenly he wanted her to know everything because Shay was probably the one person he could tell everything to. At the very least, she was the absolute last person that would be judgmental about what had happened. "Things got a lot more complicated one day. I used this turn that landed me on top of Andy. Our faces were only a few inches apart. I'm looked into his eyes and they looked back at me like they did in my dirtier dreams. Then instead of making a smart ass remark, I kissed him. I thought he was going to belt me. Instead he ripped off my head-gear. I ripped off his head-gear and then we were kissing open mouth. Our hands went into each other's pants and we did it for each other. There wasn't any penetration other than our tongues, but it was definitely sex and it was definitely the best sex I had in my life at that time."

"What happened afterwards?" she asked.

That wasn't so great, but he told Shay the truth. "We laid on the mats without talking for a long time. At first all I could think was: this is Andy, this is my best friend, and if anyone finds out about this, I will never get another girl to make out with me again. Then this little voice in the back of my head starts whispering, if you guys can do that for each other that good, you don't need girls. Andy started shaking. I thought he was going into shock. He probably was. We were confirmed together. I crawled over next to him. I wanted to tell him, we would figure this out and everything was going to be okay. Except I kissed him on the forehead first. He shoved me away. He jumped up and started shouting, 'We can't do this. We do this and we're going to hell!' And then he left. I didn't see him for five days. He told our coach he didn't want to wrestle with me anymore."

Shay wrapped both her arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"About what?" he asked.

"That's a lousy way for your best teenage sex to have ended," she explained.

Shay was every good thing in his world. He wanted to hold her all night, but he already knew they couldn't stay this way much longer, not while he was wearing sweatpants. "I got to turn in," He got up from the couch. Shay didn't tell him good night.

A cold shower sort of made things better. At least he felt less on edge. But when he went to his bedroom, Shay was there. Her expression was unreadable. They had been drinking, but she was nowhere near drunk. They had known each other and lived together long enough for both of them to be able to determine that point. She walked over to him silently. Slowly she reached up to his face and caressed his jaw.

"Most guys shave in the morning, but you shave at night before you go to bed. I've always wondered why?" she asked.

Her eyes were hypnotizing him. "It's how I manage to always have the sexy five o'clock shadow in the morning."

"Okay, that makes sense," Shay said. Her fingers moved to his check. "After you shave your skin is softer than a lot of butch lesbians." She stood on her tiptoes and pulled his chin down until their faces touched. "You almost feel like a woman. I like your aftershave."

He didn't know what to say. He just stood there enjoying the sensations. Yeah, masturbation was definitely on the itinerary for tonight. Shay released his chin and ran her fingers down his chest. "You're not really hairy either. I mean it's there, but it's not like Bigfoot."

"I got more muscles than a bull dyke." He realized how stupid that sounded before it got out of his mouth and immediately regretted talking.

Shay shot a quirky grin up at him. All right, she wasn't mad. "Only a few. You should see what hormone injections can do to a lesbian gym rat."

She kept stroking his chest. He bit down on his lip to suppress the feelings that were starting to circle below his waist. Why the hell had he just wore a towel? Because never in his wildest dreams had he thought Leslie Shay would be in his bedroom wearing a T-shirt and maybe a pair of panties. She needed to stop. He needed to stop her or he was going to embarrass himself. Shay stood on her tiptoes again. She kissed him right on the lips and it took every ounce willpower for him to keep his arms at his side. With any other woman by now he would have scooped her up and they would be on the bed because that's what the signals she had been sending him called for, but this was Shay. She didn't come on to men. And she was the only woman he had ever really loved. He couldn't afford to misunderstand her behavior. Shay took his hand and lead him to the bed. She handed him one of her scarves.

"I want you to blindfold me," she said.

"What?" _Was this actually happening?_

"I am ovulating. Right now fresh from shower, your skin, your face are the closest you'll get to feeling like a woman in bed. If you blindfold me, maybe I won't notice what differences are left. We can successfully do Plan B and conceive a baby tonight instead of having to wait all those months." She said.

He managed to nod. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than he had ever hoped for. Carefully, he wrapped the scarf around Shay's head covering her eyes, but not her ears. Then he took her in his arms as gently as possible. "Will you let me to do some things to you beforehand? Things that will relax you so the finale isn't so awkward for both of us?"

Her voice seemed to echo around the room when she answered. "Okay."

He picked her up even though the bed was right there because he had always wanted to carry Shay to bed and not like a cave man like a groom would on their wedding night. He wanted this to be more about making love than making a baby, but those words couldn't be spoken. Maybe they could never be spoken and this was all he would ever have of them together. Well, he was going to make it a night worth remembering. He kissed her hand. "If I move too fast, you'll tell me?"

"That isn't important, Kelly. Just do it." Shay said.

"No way, you're not going to have any bad memories about the night we start this baby," he vowed.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Firehouse Kids: Unlikely Brothers**_

**Chapter 3**

A miniature copter whirled inside Kelly Severide's chest. He had fantasized about making love to Shay for longer than he really wanted to think about. And the dreams had always been about making love not just sex. A part of him that he hadn't realized he had was already starting to hurt because Shay wanted to reduce this next step in their lives into just sex. It shouldn't be like this. It wasn't just ego he had told himself often enough. She couldn't care about him the way she did and it only be friendship. Of course, how he was going to get Shay to realize that he didn't know. Cautiously he sat down on the bed. He leaned over Shay and delicately kissed her.

Her mouth twisted into a frown. "Was that really necessary?"

Kelly tried to keep his voice light, but steady. "Yeah, it's a Severide family custom. Never impregnate a woman without kissing her first." He wanted to rip that stupid blindfold off her face because maybe, just maybe, if she could see what was in his eyes when they made love, she would realize this was more than him helping her have a baby. Maybe she would finally realize she felt at least part of the same way and this night would be real beginning for both of them. He picked up the edge of her T-shirt. "Can I take this off now?"

"Why?" Shay demanded to know.

"Because I like the feel of skin on skin." _Because I want to see you naked_.

Shay sighed. Then before he could do anything she sat up, pulled the T-shirt over her head, and tossed it against the wall. "Satisfied?"

She was absolutely perfect. Her skin seemed to glow. A radiant pink like a hidden fire seemed to lurk just beneath the surface. It took more than a few second before he trusted his voice. "Yeah," he said. He laid down beside her and silently prayed for the right words. They came slowly. "I don't think any man can just mechanically go through sex, not with a woman he cares about."

"So I should expect the full Kelly Severide treatment?" she said. There was humor in her voice at least.

_You can have that every night for the rest of our lives_. So many words had to go unsaid tonight. His lips melted against her shoulder. She was every bit as sweet and smooth as his dreams had imagined. He tilted her face toward him. At least, she didn't resist. "Shay, you know, I love you."

"I wouldn't have asked you to father my baby otherwise," she replied.

Every emotional brain cell screamed to tell her the full truth. _Shay, I love you the way a man loves a woman he should spend his life with. I don't want to just provide sperm for your baby. I want to be a family with you: husband and wife._ The part of him that could charge into a five alarm blaze burned to tell her that. But the brain cells that allowed him to charge into a five alarm blaze and survive, kept those words locked down. It was a savage irony that women fell for him all the time, but the only one he had ever really wanted had always been out of reach. He found more safe words. "You can have whatever you want from me tonight."

"All I want is a baby," Shay responded.

"I know." The words were a knife against his throat, but his blood boiled with each touch. He knew how to please straight women surely it couldn't be that different. Except he wanted to be with this woman for the rest of his life, not just the rest of this night. This night had to be special. This night had to be perfect. He cupped her left breast with one hand while he carefully, kissed his way down her neck. Slowly. Slowly. Until murmurs started to grow in Shay. Hope swelled in his chest. If he couldn't say it right with words maybe he could show her how much he loved her with his body.

He felt her fingers in his hair. Then suddenly Shay was guiding his head downward. She was so incredibly warm his lips felt scalded after a few minutes contact. It was worth it for the moans that came from Shay. Yeah, he could do this. He could do it right and they would both wake up happy in his bed tomorrow. And if he got really lucky from tomorrow morning until the rest of their lives it would be their bed. He slide one hand between her thighs. She was soft, warm and wet, but the tightness worried him. Tonight he wanted her so wet that there would only be tremors of pleasures and no pain. He paused to regain control of his heart rate. Shay's checks were flushed. There was almost a smile on her lips. "I should get some oil," he said.

Shay grabbed his wrist. "You don't leave this bed."

Those words almost undid him, but somehow he still had enough blood left in his brain to make the right decisions. "Shay, you're a Gold Star lesbian. You've never had anything more than another woman's hand down there."

"So," she challenged him.

"So, I want to be extra careful," he replied.

She laughed in his face, not a slight giggle, but the nose-scrunching full-blown hysterical laughter that would be mood killer for most men. Somehow even that seemed adorable from Shay on this occasion. "I've gone horseback riding. I use tampons. I've done kinky lesbian things wilder than your favorite masturbation fodder."

He refused to let his mind drifted there. Instead he leaned closer and kissed her again. He tried to pour his whole heart and soul into that kiss. "I don't want to make any mistakes, tonight."

She let go of his wrist. "You won't."

Then her hand went the one place he was most dreaming about and most dreading over. Her grip was iron. He felt caught in a vise in flesh, but gloried in the pain for a few moments. Then channeling the strength that could yank out wrecked car doors, he pulled her hand away. "You do that and I won't last long."

"That would be a good thing," she said.

"No. No, it wouldn't. I want to make love to you. I want this to be good for both of us." He was ready to beg. He would beg. Why hadn't he tried that before? Now that he had a taste of what making love to Shay would be like his ego was gone. Incinerated into bits so small an arson investigator would have to use tweezers and a magnifying glass to examine their remains. He kissed Shay before she could make another objection. And miraculously she responded! Slow and timid at first, but soon enough her tongue plundered his mouth. He wanted her arms around him. He wanted that damn blindfold on the floor. But a kiss would do. A kiss meant hope.

They slide back onto the bed together. Shay tried to pull him closer, but he held back. Not yet, not until the moment was perfect. He continued exploring her letting the flames flicker at their edges until waves of fire threatened to consume them. It was worth it though because when he finally slide home she was so soft, so wet and inviting the only sounds coming out of Shay's mouth were about satisfaction not pain.

"You're really good at this," Shay said.

"I've had years of practice," he managed to reply.

Passion came in scorching waves. Her body seemed to contain more heat than anything in the universe and he wanted to be burned alive in the molten depths. He had finally found the fire strong enough to consume him. In Shay's arms his weaknesses, his womanizing, and emotional inhibitions melted away. She was all he wanted.

He could feel her nails digging into him. "This shouldn't be happening," she said.

He tried to reassure her. "No, this is right. You're the only woman I ever want to have my baby."

"This shouldn't be happening," she repeated and he started to worry. Maybe he was misreading her signals after all? Could he be hurting her? No way in hell was he going to let that happen. He bit down hard and managed to still his body.

"Don't stop," she gasped.

He caressed her jaw with trembling fingers. "What's wrong?"

She was pulling him closer now. Her hands were iron bands against his waist. "Don't stop," she commanded.

But there were tears leaking from underneath her blindfold. "I can't. Not if I am hurting you."

"You're not hurting me!" Shay shouted.

He recognized that tone in her voice and was lost again consumed by the fire that burned between them. "I love you," he swore into Shay's ear.

"I know," was her only answer.

They wouldn't be able to maintain this intensity much longer. He was on the edge of boiling over and if everything he knew about women was even marginally correct, so was Shay. Frantically he pulled her even closer. "All the way. Every way, I love you!"

At least, she didn't say, I know again. She didn't say anything coherent. She just fell apart in his arms. Kelly recognized the sounds of pure bliss even if he didn't understand half of the things Shay had said earlier. Then the moment came when they were one. It felt like being reborn. Baptism through sex? That sounded intensely sacrilegious like a mortal sin except it seemed right for them. Kelly knew there was no going back. Regardless of whether or not they had just made a baby, his life had changed forever.

Afterwards instead of the sounds of the city all around them, there was only silence. Perfect like the world outside was being remade and nothing was at work yet. He wanted to say something else to Shay, but couldn't find the words. What words that he knew could describe moments like this? He touched the edge of the blindfold, burning to remove it, burning for her to ask him to remove it, but she only intertwined their fingers. Tomorrow he would make her breakfast. Tomorrow he would try to explain how long he had been in love with her. Tomorrow he would ask her since she was so serious about having a baby with him, if she could also seriously consider marrying him.

"We should talk," Shay said finally.

"I'm too tired." He used the classic male excuse. Her breasts were goose-down pillows topped with cashmere.

"Seriously, Kelly," she said,

"Yeah, seriously," he replied. "Straight guys are useless after sex."


End file.
